I grew up happy and healthy. And, that means I wasn’t deprived of anything meaningful as a child. Sure, my dad didn’t turn on a color TV until 1980, and none of our cars ever had working air conditioning, much less a cassette player or anything high-performance. While this seems to me real deprivation, I doubt any court of law will convict my parents of child abuse.
While my dad loved working with his own cars, he never really cared much for them. For example, he’s never polished a car, and never worries too much about driving anything sporty or luxurious. This gallery is to pay tribute to fathers like me. Realistic and responsible dads who don’t waste money on cars, or for that matter, decent TVs. If your dad is like mine, send me a note. Where to leave comments below.
father’s car
Ford Turin 1973
My dad was not opposed to coupes, but rarely considered anything really sporty. Something like the Torino seen here would appeal to him, though Dad would never have liked the vinyl roof or wide-walled tires.
Photo features: 1973 Ford Gran Torino Sport
1973 Oldsmobile Cutlass WILL
The beauty of the Cutlass S is its appeal to misers. The sleek silhouette and sports wheels suggest that there’s more going on here than there really is. Note that the S, despite having a tilting steering wheel and “rich French walnut grain”. affix,” does not come standard with radio or air conditioning. My dad will pay more for AM radio. However, he has little interest in FM.
Classic car commercial: 1975 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme
1974 Oldsmobile Omega
The Omega is the poor man’s Oldsmobile. Its mechanically identical cousins at Chevrolet, Pontiac, and Buick — Nova, Ventura and Apollo respectively — happen to be poor man models from those brands. My father owns a Nova and a Ventura. The Nova, 1970, had only three options: a 307cc V8, an automatic transmission, and an AM radio. The black vinyl seats burn my thighs on many July days.
Dodge Aspen 1976
My dad doesn’t own an Aspen or a Plymouth Volaré, the twin car of Aspen’s Chrysler Corporation. I owned a Plymouth Valiant, the predecessor to the Volaré, and one of the most primitive vehicles ever sold in America. The 1974 sedan was once white, but a $99 visit to an Earl Scheib store in Chicago netted us a yellow car with clattering white doors. Powered by the legendary Chrysler Slant Six engine, the Valiant is generally reliable, but difficult to start in cold weather. I learned to drive – before my dad knew it – in that Valiant.
Weak muscles: 1976-1980 Dodge Aspen R/T and Plymouth Volaré Road Runner
Ford Fairmont 1980
The only cool thing about the Fairmont is that it’s technically possible to put a Ford V8 under the hood of one. Although my dad never owned a Fairmont, it’s unlikely he ever did something so performance-focused like swapping engines. Also, my dad bought a used 1985 Ford LTD, which shares the same basic “Fox Body” architecture as the Fairmont. That car is also boring. It’s beige.
Segment in transition: America’s compact cars of 1979
Chevrolet Malibu 1979
My dad never owned a Malibu, but a friend’s dad does. His car is a single-color coupe powered by Chevy’s 95-horsepower 3.3-liter V6. No trouble in this car. My buddy is rarely given the keys to the Malibu, instead scoring in the AMC Gremlin family.
Chevrolet Malibu standard-equipment Showdown: 1976 vs 2016
1981 Dependent on Plymouth
The new car my father bought was a 1984 Pontiac Sunbird. However, at the time he was also considering a Renault Alliance and a Chrysler K car. The first K Cars were extremely famous as Dodge Aries and Plymouth Reliant. Luckily for me, Dad went with Sunbird, as Alliance proved to be a reliability disaster, and Reliant was as boring as dry pancakes. The Sunbird proved to be a good car; it got into the station easily and was surprisingly trouble-free for an eighties American car.
Celebrity Chevrolet 1982
A high school friend’s dad bought this vintage-style Celebrity. To my friend’s chagrin, his dad ordered a base model with a four-cylinder “Tech4” engine, rather than the 2.8-liter V6 that’s available – and it’s very popular. Also not found on his father’s car are high-end wheels or white tires.
Cheap wheels: 1991-1994 Chevrolet Lumina Z34
1986 Dodge B-350 Maxiwagon
Long before there were pickup trucks, Plymouth gave the name Travel to a mechanical replica of the full-size Dodge truck seen here. The Malibu’s half-brother also owns an old-fashioned Travel, complete with a powerful 360 cubic-inch V8, but not the high-end wood-tone trim seen here. Although my dad would never have thought of a truck, the space efficiency of such a rig would appeal to him.
Dad’s car showroom
Click below to enlarge the image
father’s car
father’s car
