“After I got out of the last treatment center, I knew what made me happy,” explains Selena, “and that’s connection.”
However, as ordered by her doctor, Selena’s planned charity visit to Kenya to see the schools she helped raise money for was delayed by several years due to her 2017 kidney transplant. Once she finally has the apples to make the trip in 2019, she vows to visit quarterly
“The truth is I never felt good enough,” Selena admits. “Even when I stand on stage in front of a crowd, I will always find someone who doesn’t like me and I believe them, I want to believe in myself. The people I have met here in Kenya are so giving. I just want to feel like I deserve to be here with them.”
During her time at the Maasai Mara, Selena bonded with students, talking about love, ambition and, in a particularly emotional conversation with one woman, the idea of suicide.
After her time in Kenya, Selena will head to London and Paris in person to promote her music, but she struggles to adjust to her life as a celebrity. “It just seemed like a waste of time,” she said. “What am I doing now?”
Later admitting that “a part of my heart is still in Kenya”, Selena admitted, “Sometimes I feel guilty about being there. I hate it, I feel like I went and filmed and i experienced it, but it was hard because i felt so selfish.. do i feel great? Do you feel like you’ve done enough? No.”
“Talking to someone about mental health in Kenya, that’s great,” she continued. “I don’t know if I feel like, ‘Oh, I did it and what a great person I am.’ No, it’s just the beginning for me.”
