Is it just us or does it seem like everything in today’s culture promotes instant gratification? Like seriously. Don’t get us wrong, we love technology. But new and improved technology, smartphones, tablets, laptops, and constant WiFi connections allow people to get what they want, when they want, with a single tap or click.
It’s actually a bit crazy when you think about it. And while there are many benefits of instant gratification (it’s instant, of course), it can actually be a source of unnecessary frustration. Like sometimes, it’s too easy and it makes less sense. Meanwhile, when you have to work or wait, that seems more gratifying.
And that brings us to delayed gratification. Deferred gratification is beneficial once you reach your goals, and it’s an essential life skill that everyone today needs to learn. And when we say ‘people of today’ we literally mean everyone. Deferred gratification can apply to people of all ages.
So, let’s take a look at what delayed gratification is, what the benefits are, and how to really incorporate this skill into your daily life.
What is delayed gratification?
Delayed gratificationalso known as deferred gratification, is defined as “the act of resisting the urge to receive an immediately available reward in the hope of receiving a more valuable reward in the future.”
Basically, it means slowing down, not taking the fruit lightly, and seeing what comes after. In most cases, with a little self-control and patience, the end result is far more valuable than the instant gratification you may feel. And, delayed gratification tends to last longer and feel a lot more rewarding.
Meanwhile, instant gratification disappears pretty quickly when it arrives. It is fleeting and can make you feel sad. Nobody wants that.
Developing this skill is essential when building self-control and achieving both your short-term and long-term goals. And the best part is, mastering this skill comes with a lot of benefits
Delayed gratification benefits
♡ Better impulse control
Do you struggle with impulse control? Common impulses include substance abuse, eating, drinking, and even things like irritability, check your phone, and such. Learning to delay gratification can help you learn to control those urges by teaching you to resist urges. Then when you’ve finally indulged in one of your favorite things, that means much more and a much more satisfying outcome.
♡Improve decision making skills
Hindsight is always 20/20… are you? This is why developing the ability to delay gratification is key to your overall improvement decision-making skills. Instead of making quick decisions that lead to quick rewards, you learn to take your time when making decisions for best possible result. And in most cases, when you take your time making decisions, instead of making rash decisions, the rewards are much greater and the lessons learned are more gratuitous.
♡ Better interpersonal relationships
Interpersonal relationships are always better when we avoid making hasty decisions in the heat of the moment and when we resist the temptation to speak before thinking. This is where delayed gratification can really come into play.
Like sure, it feels really great to tell your boss when they’re being rude or completely unload on your S/O when you’re arguing. But, let’s be honest – this doesn’t work and often leads to both parties feeling like a complete mess later on.
Instead, delaying that gratification often leads to moments of serious clarity. And instead of making that completely rude comment, you’ll actually arrive at a more realistic solution to the problem that makes people feel so many better. This applies to your parents, significant other, friends, co-workers – literally everyone.
♡ Improve financial management
This is pretty intuitive. When you can delay gratification by saving money, the later benefits are almost always better. The basic rule here is when you save money on the things that bring you joy or happiness?, you can spend more money on things that really benefit you. Things that bring you real joy and satisfaction in the longer term.
Example of delayed gratification
Here are a few examples of the benefits of delayed gratification to help you better understand how this concept can improve different aspects of your life:
Finance
+ Instead of risking your credit score and getting an expensive car loan with just about any car you can afford, you save and wait for the one you really want. Then you really enjoy every time you drive in that car.
+ While you love spending money on fast food, you can choose to refrain from spending money on fast food throughout the week. Then you can treat yourself to a delicious, nutritious and healthy meal at your favorite expensive restaurant over the weekend. Much more gratuitous than fast food.
Relationship
Instead of reacting impulsively to criticism from friends and family, take a moment to think about what was said and form a better and more effective response. Then everyone in the situation is happier.
♡ Physical pleasures
+ You will love this. Instead of ‘taking a shortcut’ immediately, Invest more time in foreplay. The more foreplay now, the ‘big O’ later the better.
+ Instead of spending a small amount on a short vacation, you can save for a bigger, better, longer and more vacation enjoyable holiday at the end of the year. Better and What about vacation? We will take it.
Career
+ You can go out for a drink the night before your big presentation. Or, you can practice delayed gratification by preparing your presentation, nailing it, and then reaping bigger and better prizes in your later career.
Health
By avoiding the instant gratification of buying junk food at the grocery store, you’ll eat healthier and feel better after eating at home. And you can even lose weight (if you want to, of course). So it’s win-win.
How to delay gratification
♡ Just do it
Honestly, the hardest part of doing anything is just getting started, right? So just do it. Start by identifying the parts of your life where you feel instant gratification. Then make a quick list of reasons why delaying this gratification might work in your favor.
♡ Start small
Start small by making small rules in mind. And once you practice more in the world of delayed gratification, you can begin to incorporate larger parts of your life. For example, start by reducing fast food consumption and time on social media. Then when you finally fulfill your passion, it will be a lot sweeter.
♡Practice Gratitude
If you know Lauryn, you know how grateful she is. When good things happen, it is extremely important to thank the Universe, or whoever or whatever you feel you need to thank for your blessings. It is just a necessity. It makes us appreciate what we have and It gives us the impetus to keep pushing forward. We have said it once and we will say it again….Gratitude is attitude.
♡ Always be consistent
It sounds cliché, but there’s actually something to the saying “consistent is key.” As with any other skill or lesson you’re trying to master, you have to practice. And of course, there will be times that are harder than others. But, on the other hand, there will be a lot of times when it’s easier than others.
So be steadfast and rest assured that the satisfaction at the end of the road is so many better than instant and forever gratification. And when the going gets tough, remember to remind yourself of your end goal. Write down your ultimate goals where you can see them, set reminders, and don’t be afraid to show it off with some affirmations.
Satisfaction and success delayed
So with all this being said, the main point to remember here is Delayed gratification can help you achieve greater success in the long term. This applies to all aspects of your life, whether it’s relationships, education, career, finances, etc. And, this also applies to the kids. Just think about Marshmallow Test. (If you’re not sure what that is, check out the link above! There you’ll find a ton of information about original researcher Walter Mischel and how the OG Marshmallow test is moderated.)
However, the bottom line of the Marshmallow test is: from research that children who are able to acquire and master this skill at an early age tend to be more successful in some aspects of life as they grow older. This includes SAT scores, a reduced likelihood of obesity, and even a reduced risk of substance abuse. Really, the benefits are endless for both kids and Adults. But, the sooner you start, the better.
Delaying gratification does not mean delaying happiness.
Delayed gratification means choosing than happiness later than ephemeral happiness now. See the difference? This is something that we recommend you include in your life as early as humanly possible. The benefits are just too overwhelming to ignore the concept.
Until next time, let us know how your delayed gratification journey is going! And don’t be afraid to hit us with all your serious and curious questions on this topic!!! We would love to hear from you, especially when it comes to interesting concepts like this. Will talk soon.
x, the Skinny Secret team.
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