HAPPY 4TH OF JULY to the most insane & amazing community ever.
This 4th of July I’ll be relaxing by the pool with my family, eating, drinking skinny margs. Also, if you’re after a book you have to check out this one by Danny Trejo. Just like, wow.
I wanted to give you a quick little 4th of July resource for how to throw together some fun, last-minute shit for today. Each of these ideas are quick, easy, efficient & will be a real hit. Let’s dissect- shall we?
✩ THE SKINNY CONFIDENTIAL MICROMANAGED MARGARITA
To preface this situation I want to say that I used to be a bartender. There’s an occasional DM about how I shouldn’t be micromanaging the bartender. ( Side note: I was not only a bartender but I worked in the restaurant industry for 10 years. Started as a hostess when I was 14, went on to cocktailing for like 4 years, & then bartended for about 4 years. When people used to know what they liked, it made my job easier. In fact, I embraced someone who knew what they wanted- I considered it a challenge to sharpen my bartending skills. Funny because I actually met one of my very good friends, Carly, when her husband, Adam, ordered a very specific margarita in a chilled martini glass- I liked that they knew what they wanted ).
So ya, I disagree.
Here’s the thing: I know what I want. I’m specific. Just because I know what I want doesn’t make me a bitch. Also you can count on the fact that I am always kind. I say “please” & “thank you” & always tip 20% or more. There’s no rude micromanaging going on- just specific directions for what I like.
Personally, that’s how I believe you get what you want in life, you know?
You ask for it.
Direct, straight to the point, communication. Kindness is obviously important but there’s nothing wrong with knowing EXACTLY what you want.
Anyway, back to the margarita.
+ 1.5 ounce blanco tequila
+ 1 ounce of Cointreau ( use Triple Sec if this is unavail )
+ limes ( tons )
+ a little lemon
+ a speck of agave ( like a fucking SPECK ! )
+ option: 2 squeezes of a grapefruit or even pomegranates
+ half rim of salt, always
+ directions: use a lime to rim the glass & then add salt to only half the rim. In a martini shaker add 3/4 fresh lime juice, one squeeze of lemon, then add Cointreau ( or Triple Sec ), & tequila.
HOT TIP: try a half rim of Tajin to keep things interesting.
rule of thumb: when making a cocktail, start with the cheapest ingredients first & finish with the most expensive last. Add ice to shaker ( you don’t want the ice to melt into your ingredients, so do this last ). Add ice to rimmed glass & shake and strain your cocktail over the ice. Garnish with a grapefruit slice or lime wheel. GET NAKED WASTED.
✩ SUPER QUICK SPICY GUACAMOLE
Not only is this a bomb-ass recipe, it’s also a bomb-ass recipe that takes like 5 seconds. Have to host a dinner party but have no time? I got you. Someone’s birthday? Bring this guac, you’ll be a real hit. Football Sunday? This guac needs to get involved. No football Sunday should be without guacamole.
This specific recipe is super quick. You can make this VERY FAST but it will taste like you worked real hard in the kitchen. This combo is usually ideal…right? I mean I’m not too fussy over spending hours cooking- I like fast.
Anyway, you can kind of tailor the spicy-ness to your needs. I mean we all know I like it to burn my mouth off so my jalapeño load is typically intense. And you guessed it: this recipe is filled with a lot of lemon.
AS FAR AS CHIPS: I like to do blue corn chips but I also like a low carb option. My friend, Mike, recommended I add endive lettuce leaves to the equation. Basically I have a bowl of chips & then I’ll have a plate of endive lettuce leaves laying out- my friends love it! Endive lettuce is the size of a chip & it’s very sturdy so it holds the guac ( salsa is good with it too ). Kind of has a crisp texture with a delicious flavor. PLUS it’s crunchy like a chip. YUM.
+ 5 organic avocados
+ What’s Gaby Cooking’s Spicy Guac Starter
+ 1/2 organic lemon
+ Chili flakes ( optional for an extra zing! )
+ directions: mash avocados, add the starter, squeeze lemon, & sprinkle chili flakes to taste…yes guys- it’s THAT easy. Grab a bowl of blue corn chips or endive lettuce pieces, crack a cold beer, & enjoy!
I should mention it’s always fun to sex up your guac: you can always add mango for mango guac! Corn or tomatoes are a fun addition too. Sometimes I add cilantro- BECAUSE YUM. True Foods does a kale/grapefruit guac, that I LOVE. That’s next on my list to try.
✩ ZUCCHINI BROWNIES
Just when you think brownies can’t get any better, PLOT TWIST— THEY CAN.
BECAUSE when you get to eat brownies full of zucchini & they taste the same? Eer, what the hell is better right?
Remember that one book called The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids Favorite Meals all about hiding veggies & fruits in children’s foods? I feel like adults should eat out of that book too. CLEVER RIGHT. I mean why not eat something amazing with some added nutrients.
This specific recipe is from cutie Jordan of Skinny Girl Standard. She has some bomb ass recipes with half the calories without compromising the taste. So nudge, nudge, go check out her blog & get lost for a little while. You’ll have some fun, trust me.
Anyway, let’s get down to business.
+ 1/2 cup liquid egg-whites
+ 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
+ 1 tablespoon of Kerrygold pure unsalted butter
+ 1/4 cup + 1/8 cup of organic real Stevia
+ 1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
+ 1 cup organic whole wheat flour
+ 1/2 cup raw unsweetened cocoa powder
+ 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
+ 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
+ 1/8 teaspoon salt
+ 2 cups chopped zucchini
+ 1 handful of dark chocolate chips
+ Directions: Preheat oven to 350F. Mix together all wet ingredients— including applesauce, & Stevia. In a separate bowl, mix together all dry ingredients ( excluding chocolate chips ). Now, combine both wet & dry ingredients. Mix together, getting rid of clumps, but be careful not to over-stir. Pile 2 cups of zucchini into a blender and blend just until zucchini has been chopped into very fine pieces. Before pouring zucchini into batter, drain excess water from blending. Add zucchini into mix and stir until combined. Add 1 handful of dark chocolate chips into brownie batter. Pour mix into 8 x 8 baking pan, lightly greased with butter, coconut oil or cooking spray. Sprinkle a couple of chocolate chips on top. Bake brownies for about 28-32 minutes.
You will not believe there’s zucchini in them.
✩ WATERMELON JERKY
WATERMELON JERKY GIVES ME LIFE.
First off, the credit entirely goes to Sakara Life. The girl bosses sent me this snack & immediately I was HOOKED. Like hooked where I needed to snack on it every night.
There’s something about the texture of their jerky that just FITS WITH ME. It’s like my vibe. I don’t know.
IT’S NOT TOO SWEET, NOT TOO HEAVY, KINDA CHEWY…& JUST REALLY RIGHT.
Have you guys ever had a food that just GETS YOU?
( Oddly, this also happens to me with spicy margaritas…).
Anyway, since I’m a watermelon jerky ADDICT, I figured why not make it myself?
Sure, it’s not going to be as perfect as the Sakara Life jerky but a girl can try, right.
Before I share the recipe, so you don’t think I’m a total psycho, let me explain the whole concept. Here’s how the girls explain their jerky: “the watermelon snack is made with just one ingredient: organic watermelon. We kept it super simple, and this stuff is pure—no added sugar, no wacky chemicals, no artificial anything. Despite its simplicity, the watermelon pieces are loaded with fiber, vitamins, minerals, & potassium that, like all of Sakara Life’s vegan-friendly products, promote beauty from the inside out. While there are now plenty of vegan jerky snacks that attempt to replicate the taste and texture of chicken and beef in cruelty-free ways, this fruity dried snack presents an entirely new alternative to traditional savory jerky snacks.”
+ a big-ass watermelon, organic
+ organic cayenne powder
+ as much lime as you want!
+ directions: add to a dehydrator. cut watermelon into 1 inch slices. Discard ends & remove rinds. After removing the rind cut slices down to about 1/4 inch thick. Lightly add cayenne powder ( I like A LOT but it’s spicy so you need just a tad ) & then place watermelon slices on dehydrator. Once it’s in dehydrator squeeze a little lime on top. Dry at 135 degrees F for 18 ( YES, 18 ) hours.
{ recipe via }
✩ KOMBUCHA VODKA
Cocktails with probiotics.
If that’s not cool, I don’t know what is?
Bring these cocktails to a pool party & everyone will want to be your best friend.
Plus you’ll be drinking…healthy-ishly. Kombucha is full of good bacteria AKA probiotics AKA those weird slippery things at the bottom.
Some benefits of Kombucha according to this source: liver detoxification, improved pancreas function, increased energy, better digestion, improved mood ( helps with anxiety/depression ), kills Candida ( yeast ), helps nutrient assimilation, & weight loss.
+1-2 ounces of vodka ( I like gluten-free Tito’s )
+ A couple splashes of sparkling water
+ A couple of splashes of Kombucha
+ Fresh mint ( I like A LOT )
+ Shaved ginger
+ Grapefruit bitters ( if you don’t have this, use a squeeze of lemon )
+ Handful of ice
+ directions: add ice to a chilled glass. Add vodka & top with a little sparkling water. Add 1/2 cup of your favorite Kombucha on top. Grab mint & clap it between your hands ( << this brings out the flavor ). Use mint as a garnish & mix it into the cocktail. Top with a couple dashes of grapefruit bitters ( or lemon ) & shave some ginger on top ( use a cheese grater to shave ginger! ). Option: add raspberries for a festive flair. CHEERS!
✩ JENNIFER ANISTON CAULIFLOWER PIZZA
This pizza is filling, delicious & fresh. You should also know that one serving of this cauliflower crust has 1g of fiber, 8g of protein ( thank you egg whites – all of the ingredients are TSC-approved ) – and only 1g of carbs. My favorite is the spicy jalapeño crust though, if we’re getting specific. All of the Cali’flour Foods crusts are grain free too. That’s always a plus.
Ok, ok, on to the recipe. According to her stylist, this is Jennifer Aniston’s favorite pizza order ( we’re just making it on a cauli crust ):
+ 1 pizza crust
+ 3/4 c Rao’s sauce
+ 1 diced bell pepper
+ 1/4 c black olives
+ 1/4 c sliced onion
+ mozzarella cheese
+ 1 handful arugula
+ chili flakes, to taste
+ garlic gloves, to taste
+ squeeze of lemon
+ optional: add artichokes for extra fiber.
+ directions: preheat oven to 400F, place the crust on a non-stick baking pan and bake for 10-12 mins. Let it cool for about 10 mins before adding toppings. Spoon sauce over pizza crust. Top with bell peppers, onions, olives, and mozzarella cheese. Enjoy as is, or bake for another few mins. Take out of oven and top with fresh arugula, LOTS of lemon and chili flakes. Enjoy!
+TSC HOT TIP: Rao’s Arrabbiata sauce is my FAVE. You guys know this though. The ingredients are on point and it goes perfectly with the jalapeño crust. If you can’t find Rao’s sauce, Luciano’s is perfect too.
✩ TSC PLAYLISTS
If there is no way you’re cooking or baking for the 4th July, I got you covered with these TSC playlists. They’re perfect whether you’re at a pool party or keeping it chill in your backyard.
✩ The Skinny Confidential Workout Playlist
✩ TSC Summer Workout Playlist
✩ TSC does Europe Playlist
✩ TSC Champagne Dance Party Playlist
✩ TSC Sweaty, Sexy Playlist
✩ TSC Vibezzz
✩ TSC Bougie Bossanova Playlist
✩ JUICY READS
& if you’re keeping it extra chill this weekend & looking for some must-reads, I highly recommend:
Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis
This is my favorite book that I’ve read all year. I’m trying to convince anyone & everyone to read it. It’s the autobiography of Anthony Kiedis who is the lead singer of The Red Hot Chili Peppers. This book is so beautifully written that you truly fall in love with Anthony Kiedis. Out of all the books listed here, I would start with this one. It’s so good because it shows you every facet of his life – a horrendous drug addiction, living on the streets, all the women he’s been with, inner workings of the band, & why he is the way he is. If I ever write a memoir when I’m like 50, I hope it’s as beautifully written as this one. It’s probably one of the best written autobiographies or biographies that I’ve ever read. & that’s saying a lot because I’m an autobiography whore. It’s such a great story of the world of rock, success & excess.
Everything About Me is Fake and I’m Perfect by Janice Dickinson
Janice Dickinson is something else. After listening to her on a podcast recently I immediately had to know more. She is raw and unapologetically herself. I mean just look at her book title, Everything About Me is Fake & I’m Perfect. Get ready for a juicy read about modern culture from the woman who claims to have coined the term ‘super model.’ I loved her other 2 bookstoo. Funny enough, I read them while recovering from a boob job years ago ( LOL ). Anyway she’s funny as hell.
The Other Man by Michael Bergin
I told you guys I’m obsessed with the Kennedy’s last month & this month is no different. I picked up The Other Man after reading Fairy Tale Interrupted for even more Kennedy gossip. Told from Michael Bergin’s perspective, this book dives into the relationship he had with Carolyn Bessette. From their first dates to heartbreak this book makes you feel like you really know Carolyn & Michael. Lemme tell ya, this one is a page turner.
Or check out the latest the Amazon store for all the latest book recs.
Hope you loved these quick tips & trick for a badass 4th of July. I’m sure you’re all living it up in your neon bikinis & cateye sunglasses. Hopefully you’re able to relax over the weekend so you’re nice & rejuvenated for next week. With that, I G2G. We’re for sure going to make a Jennifer Aniston pizza with extra jalepeño. Happy 4th!
x, lauryn
+ For more recipes stalk this page.
++ If you wanna get all boozy & shit, check out everything alcohol here.
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