On the day I got engaged in November 2019, I knew I wouldn’t wear it wedding dress.
When I was a child, I loved nothing more than to be seen bride in white evening dress. But as an adult, becoming a bridal editor, when I finished my third wedding magazine job in 2016, I knew I wanted to run away. Having spent several years breaking down every part of the wedding planning process to work, I can’t find myself enjoying the stress, financial commitment, or social pressure that some consider to be one the most important days of their lives (even if I’m an “expert” at it). With that in mind, then I don’t think I can justify spending money on a wedding dress – that, based on Knot, which on average costs $1,800 – for such an intimate relationship. And, as someone trying to minimize excess fashion consumption I also can’t face the thought of buying an outfit that I’ll only wear once in my life.
That means no big bridal shop visits with my family and friends. Instead, I picked up a white New York designer suit that was already in my closet for a small union ceremony in Manhattan and bought a big discount white evening gown from a one of my favorite brands online to legally leave in Hawaii. I don’t feel the kind of thrill or excitement that bridal publications tell you how you should feel when you try on “the one,” but they feel like “me” and I know for sure. % that I will wear both again on many occasions to come. As the weeks go by, sure, I feel a little suspicious from time to time whenever I see the unmistakable bridal look from one of the bridesmaids. favorite wedding designer pops up on my Instagram feed, but I pushed it aside.
Even so, fleeting thoughts turned into uncertainty when I attended Bridal Fashion Week, a semi-annual event in which bridal designers showcase their latest collections to the press and buyers. As I watched one elaborate dress after another, I realized that I was more moved by the thought of brides-to-be wearing a heart-embroidered church veil at Galia Lahav, a small party dress with cut at the back Houghton, and a camisole with oversized sleeves in Rosie Assoulin is more than I have in my wardrobe. I want to at least try on a bridal dress.
As soon as I put it on Khloe dress from Houghton, my longtime favorite bridal brand, I feel the thrill of seeing a look that I know will define the next season on a dress. New York Fashion Week runway; I’ve found mine Hawaiian costumes. The body-hugging style doesn’t need to be changed (a big plus when the wedding is a month away); the mesh material is cool enough for an outdoor beach wedding, hugging my body without being constrained; and corset detailing and uneven neckline add just the right amount of surprise for a timeless silhouette. And while I haven’t worn strapless dresses since the early ’00s, I can’t remember why wearing this one.
Still wearing a New York designer suit for my city ceremony, I went to the studio of Jackson Wiederhoeft – a former student of Thom Browne, a finalist for the CFDA Fashion Foundation / Vogue this year and the most exciting new name in the field of bridal wear. Even though I’m pretty sure I want a tuxedo bridal suit from the designer, in the three years since launching his eponymous brand Wiederhoefthas become known for her subversive creations that draw the line between avant-garde couture, fairy fantasy and classic romanticism, I’m surprised it’s Charlie, a matte satin high-low dress with a meringue-like corset bodice, that made me rethink everything I thought I wanted at a wedding.
In the process of choosing two new wedding dresses, I made absolutely no compromises on my values: While the Wiederhoeft style lands right in the price range of an average wedding dress and the Houghton is under $1,000, both the two brands both create their designs ethically New York and LA, respectively. Charlie is created using 100% recycled fabric made in Italy from post-consumer recycled fibers; meanwhile, Houghton uses an on-demand manufacturing model that eliminates excess waste. Both brands also make products for all body sizes which, although considered a normal practice in every brand, is, unfortunately, still a rarity in the industry. The industry regularly prolongs the fear of fat.
In the months leading up to the wedding, people asked me what I was going to wear – a common question for any bride but so much more for someone who has gone from bride to fashion editor – I found myself giving an answer that, like my reaction to my first set of photos, lacked the enthusiasm expected of a bride: “It was a small wedding, so I just wore it. a suit and an evening gown.” Although no one questioned it, the more I despised my appearance in front of others, the more I felt like I was downplaying the day when I was about to make one of the biggest commitments of my life.
In my new dress, on both wedding days, there was no mistaking that I was the bride – people were congratulating, little girls were staring at me with amusement, tourists were taking pictures; special dresses like the vows that my husband and I exchanged. While I don’t recommend changing your mind about your bridal gown right before the wedding ceremony for the sake of the wedding designers and your own stress levels, I do recommend waiting for a dress. that you can’t wait to wear wedding dayinstead of the one you feel like you’re going to put on any day. And, maybe it’s naive but I still believe I’ll wear both appearance wedding again, though to more special occasions than work, where I wore my original white suit to, or a girls’ night out, where I debuted my top white evening gown his ancestor. Then again, why would I want to cut back on dresses that will forever remind me of my wedding to wear every day?
For my bridal accessories, I wear used heels that I already have in my closet. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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