I spend a lot of time – maybe you too – thinking about happiness. What is it? How can I get more of it? But there are other times — and maybe this applies to you too — when I just think, forget all of it: Life is hard, and who says lasting happiness is even within reach hand? It is in those moments that Samantha Irby’s work feels so valuable and new. I spoke with Irby, the best-selling comedy writer who recently published her fifth essay, “Quietly Hostile,” and is a contributing producer to the new season of “And Just Like That.” ,” the revival of “Sex and the City,” about the tyranny of positivity.
An ongoing theme in your work is that you are a mess and you don’t understand how to make life go smoothly. But do you think other people are walking around thinking, I have everything under control? I know people who have it together, and when I look at them, I feel even worse. My wife gets along very well. She knows where her stuff is and she has a routine. I see this in other people and then I don’t know where my glasses are or where my shoes are and I think, how can I get through life like them?
But from a distance, you succeeded. Are you just locked into a certain idea of yourself? That may be true. But, okay, I don’t know if I’ve said this to anyone before, so we’re going to start digging into this.
Please. I think there’s a part of me that just because I’m this chubby I don’t function properly – I’ve seen someone say that straight white men are the only group you can still joke around with. There are fat jokes everywhere. I will always feel a little less because of my size and secondly my Crohn’s disease. That’s why I would never consider anything I do extremely successful because there is always, yes, but you look like that. I don’t mean Feel bad for my obesity struggle, it’s just the truth! David, people hate fat people. I don’t think there’s a way – at least I haven’t figured it out yet – to both feel successful and exist in a world like, I don’t want to sit next to you.
What do you think of happiness as a goal we should all strive towards? I think that puts a lot of people out. It feels ripped off or unrealistic to say to people who are suffering, “Hey, you just need to be happy,” because it’s like, you’re going to put me somewhere that makes me happy. happy right? Will you give me something that makes me happy? Here’s a perfect example: I don’t go on a beach vacation, but you see people posting about their beach vacation on social media and they say, “Black people aren’t traveling enough. We have to get out there and travel! What if I am disabled? Or too poor? Anything you crave is something we should all aspire to – I hate that. That kind of messaging only exists to make people feel bad. When you flatten everything to “happiness” it’s like, what does that mean? It means something different to you than it does to me, and will you ever get there? For most people, the answer is no. The dishonesty behind the positivity worries me.
for more
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Read My full interview with Irby This.
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In that interview, she mentioned her love for comedian Paul Mooneywho left behind a complicated legacy, which discovery vulture.
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Outside of her books, Irby may be best known for writing the fan-favorite “Pool” episode of “Shrill,” which was praised for its hilarious depiction of a “baby’s pool party.” fat”. slate explain the importance of that episode.
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If you are looking for a different perspective on happiness, read my interview with Laurie Santos, Yale professor and host of the podcast “The Happiness Lab.”
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It’s no surprise that Irby’s ideal Sunday comes with a dash of vinegar: “If it’s football season, I like to lounge on the couch and watch all the games. I watch the noon match, the three o’clock match And Sunday night game, it could be an illness.
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