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This is so unfair. It means that my FAG, C— and F— are coolly disregarded and I have to settle for FAT or HUNT or DUCK, all of which are numerically inferior offerings. The thing is that these words are totally legitimate. Yes, FAG is a justifiably insulting word to some but to others it just means an entirely decent cigarette, or if you’re in England, a tiresome chore, or if you’re in boarding school, a kid who does your bidding. That’s three definitions to one!
As for C—, WWF should know that this word forms part of our rich literary heritage, dating back to the 1300s at least and Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. In those days, it was spelt as “queynte” and, according to Riverside Chaucer, meant an “elegant, pleasing thing”. I don’t think we’ll all fall in a heap and ask for the smelling salts if we see this word on the WWF board.
So imagine my delight when my previously forbidden SHIT was accepted in a WWF match the other day – another word that Chaucer used with gay abandon. (How we tittered over “shiten shepherde” in The Miller’s Tale at school.)
Conversely, there are some words WWF accepts that really brown off other players. On Twitter, Darren Sharp complained: “Words With Friends needs to be renamed Words With People I Was Friends With Until I Swore At Them For Playing ‘QI’.” Sarah Mardston concurs: “Ever wonder which of your friends would lose all sense of morality in a war situation? It’s the ones who play QI in Words With Friends.”
This is strange. I happen to love QI. It’s nice and short and gives you something to do with your Q when you don’t have a U. Anyone who’s tried tai chi obviously knows it means “vital force”. Der, Fred. (Message to self: try using DER in your next match. If it gets rejected, write to the CEO.)
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In fact, writing to Zynga is quite the thing. The company encourages player submissions and receives thousands a day. To celebrate their eighth anniversary in 2017, some 50,000 words were added to their “social dictionary”. According to Stephen Kearse, “Youthful neologisms like bestie, kween, hangry, fomo, and bae led the promotion for the dictionary”. While new additions like BFF and FTW aren’t words at all, “the emphasis [is] on what these words mean to players emotionally rather than their strategic value”. WTF?
Oh yes, I get very emotional about words, especially ones like FUTZ when they yield me a whopping Triple Letter within a whopping Triple Word score. To hell with the meaning.
For all its niggles – don’t get me started on the cheat sites or the personalised coloured tiles or the powerups – I like to think WWF has reformed me as a competitor. Some of my “friends” are incredibly gracious and at the end of a game that I’ve won, will send a little message “Top match!” Just like you’re playing tennis and coming to the net to shake hands.
I try to do the same – though if I’ve been pulverised, I have to stomp on the “tantrumy” child inside and respond in my “most adultest way”: Bravo! Seems a good reaction. Not saying too much. Or I’ll simply send a wineglass-clinking emoji when what I really want to say is: bloody hell, you got lucky there, mate!
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