I never thought of myself as a survivor. In fact, I have been told over and over again that I am not one. “You weren’t there!” they said. “Who are you to say you are a gun violence survivor?” “In a way, they were right — I wasn’t there that afternoon. But that day will live big in me forever.
On September 11, 1995, my sister-in-law, Laura, and my three nieces, Sarah, Rachel, and April, were shot dead by Laura’s husband, the girls’ father. April was just 5 months old when she was murdered. Sarah, the oldest, had just come home from her first day of kindergarten. It was supposed to be a day of celebration, but feeling like I was missing out, my brother-in-law burst into my mother-in-law’s house and shot and killed Laura and their three daughters. My mother-in-law was injured trying to protect one of her grandchildren.
I may not have been present when the shooting happened, but I was there that night wiping the blood from my mother-in-law’s hair. I acted as a regular caregiver for her as she battled trauma for the rest of her life. Years later, I was there as my daughter was trying to find the strength to leave her own abusive relationship. And here I am – just like millions of survivors of domestic violence and gun violence.
When I received word of the shooting, I feared that I would be next. I huddled with my three-month-old two-year-old, waiting to hear what I should do, not knowing that my brother-in-law had been arrested. If I, a step away from the violence, felt this horror, what would the final moments of my nieces and Laura be like?
For a long time, I didn’t tell our story because I thought it was just – our story. I know how it feels to be ridiculed or distrusted, and even those in Laura’s missionary community, including pastors, dismissed her concerns about the dangerous move. that she encountered. However, I have come to learn that our story is the story of America, and I have to say it so that people don’t turn away from the versions of it that exist in their communities.
Nationwide, easy access to guns, coupled with a social system not built to protect women, allows this public health crisis to thrive. Reach for a gun make it five times more likely an abuser will kill his female victim. Medium, 70 women was shot dead by a close partner every month. Nearly a million women alive today have been shot or shot at a close partner, while millions more are threatened with guns. Abusers use force to inflict emotional trauma and forcibly control their victims, and guns only exacerbate that power, even if the abuser doesn’t pull the trigger in the end.
Like so many families in Uvalde, Buffalo, and hundreds of cities across the country will soon find out, Gun violence injuries don’t go away after a ceasefire and leaving vehicle cameras — if any. As survivors, our families and communities will forever endure the trauma of gun violence.
But this public health crisis is not inevitable. I have seen the change happen. In March, President Joe Biden signed a government spending bill that included bipartisan reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act. This measure takes important steps to address the needs of survivors and builds on the work the president began when he authored the first Violence Against Women Act. in the 1990s. The Senate voted on the measure almost unanimously — showing me that bipartisan support for common sense gun reform is achievable.
We must continue to fight to ensure that our legislators are putting our safety first. That’s why this weekend, thousands of Mothers’ Needs and Student Action volunteers will join survivors in honoring those stolen by gun violence on Memorial Day. annual national gun violence awareness and Wear orange at the weekend.
Wear Orange is dedicated to honoring the lives of people in the United States affected by gun violence and raising the voices of those demanding change. The weekend has its origins in 2015 to honor Hadiya Pendleton, who was 15 years old when she was fatally shot in Chicago. Today, Wear Orange honors Hadiya and More than 110 people are shot dead every day in the USAs well as hundreds of others were injured.
Gun violence is a pandemic in our country, affecting everyone around: neighbors, classmates, teachers, friends and family. No one is left out. No community is immune. As legislators, it’s time to commit to taking care of all aspects of this crisis and prioritizing gun safety so that no aunt, sibling, parent, grandparent or member Any community member should know this indescribable grief and loss.
The time has long since come to act. But you simply cannot wait any longer. Through common policies, such as background check and red flag law, will keep guns out of the hands of people who shouldn’t have them. We can reduce gun violence in America, but we need you, our legislators, to stand with us.
Every day, I miss my nieces, but every day I get up ready to fight for them. To honor them, and to honor a countries that survive gun violenceI beg you to stand with us.
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