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We know that increased social media use is linked to lower feelings of wellbeing, and that it’s especially harmful for people already suffering from depressive symptoms and related perceptions of low self-esteem.
Research also shows that one way of dealing with envy or inferiority caused by social media is by adopting an approach of self-enhancement, which further cements the cycle of unreality.
High expectations of how the festive periods should be – heavily influenced by Hollywood, advertising, family expectations and social media – can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, inadequacy and envy.
“As the popularity of social media has grown in recent years, so too has the opportunity for people to compare themselves to others whilst using the platforms. People may be envious of another person’s family, possessions, lifestyle, successes or more,” says Australian Psychological Society president Dr Catriona Davis-McCabe.
Not always a time of joy
While many of us find solace in Christmas gatherings, drawing on memories of the magic of childhood, for many, this time of year can bring on challenging emotions and situations such as family conflict, financial stress and substance misuse, says Davis-McCabe.
“Christmastime can bring up issues of loneliness and isolation, especially if people are far away from their friends and family,” she says, “The end of year can also often surface pre-existing mental health challenges for people.”
Tragically, the holiday period is a time when family violence skyrockets, with police typically responding to most calls during December and January.
“Over the years, many clients have spoken to me about the difficulties they experience at Christmas: how do we navigate the blended or separated family needs, who do we invite, what gifts can we afford?” says Lea.
“People may be estranged from family, experience loneliness or not feel that they can provide for their families or adhere to other’s expectations. It can be an extremely difficult time.”
Jealousy is OK, just don’t let it rule your life
Jealousy is a normal part of life; the trick is to not let it rule us, and to be aware of why we are feeling that way.
“Ask yourself: do you think that you and/or your family are lacking in some way? Drill down to identify what it really is that you feel you need. Is it an accurate reflection of the situation? Does your family have strengths you could focus on instead?” Davis-McCabe asks.
Lea points out that jealousy is a complex but natural and commonly experienced emotion that is neither bad nor wrong.
“Jealousy is born from our insecurities, traumatic situations or relationships,” she says. “It can also be linked to unmet needs, and if we can identify these, we can begin to meet them or reframe our thinking and perspectives on them.
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Often, we get caught up in other people’s experiences and values, and compare them to our own. “If we look rationally at what we do have – to clarify our values, beliefs and what is truly important to us – we can quickly minimise jealous feelings,” Lea adds.
Practising gratitude also works. Research suggests there is a direct link between gratitude and the brain producing dopamine and serotonin, two hormones that affect our happiness and how we regulate our moods.
And, perhaps most obviously, taking a break from social media can also help. While it can be great to see pictures of friends having fun, celebrating and connecting, if you’re not in the right headspace, it’s OK to give social media a break or delete the apps altogether.
“If you’re feeling lonely, jealous or insecure at this time, be gentle towards yourself – you are doing your best with what you know and what you have available to you,” Lea says.
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