It’s 4 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day. Maybe you’re stuffing your own turkey right now, or are in the process of stuffing your own, or are still waiting to stuff your own. (If you’ve eaten ham, get out of here.) You know what that means? It’s time to make the hat!
Making hats for turkeys is a long-standing tradition during Thanksgiving. It’s not hard to see why; The turkey hat combines two of our favorites: food and fashion. Hats also make your head look bigger, which will convince people that your brain is huge.
People who wear hats are often the life of the party. Need proof? Check out this image of Spock.
The guy is a boring guy. Now, what if we threw a hat at him?
Instant Party Animals! You might as well be this guy. But instead of making the traditional Turkish hat for Thanksgiving, why not make one using the first bird in the game: the Chocobo.
Read on to find out how.
Making Chocobo hats is a fun family affair. It is also realistic. If that annual post-meal brawl breaks out, you’ll be armed with scissors. Here’s what you need to get started:
- Construction paper (all colors)
- Scissors
- Glue (edible)
- The speechless disgust of your older cousins
- Kenny Loggin’s Top Guns Soundtrack
Start by cutting a piece of yellow paper into a large circle (don’t worry it can’t feel anything.)
This is what a circle looks like:
Next, cut a beak and some eyes. Here’s what you’re aiming for:
If your uncle starts screaming about how his ex-wife wrecked his boat or your grandsons start a backyard wrestling match in the living room, open Kenny Loggin’s “Danger Zone” and muted smashing dishes.
Next: put it all together.
Families can be difficult. Did your mom yell at you to take out the trash? Is your dad yelling at you because he doesn’t want you to cut the cat’s fur? Did an old man complain that you broke into his house and stole his war bonds? Skip them. They don’t understand you. You are an artist. You need those war bonds to make your Chocobo hat.
Time to put everything together. Glue your beak and eyes to your circle, then glue the entire Chocobo head to another piece of paper (or war bond) and wrap it around your head. Feel free to add a few small details to your hat. Really make it your own. Add some additional curls or ruffled brows. If your Chocobo is filled with friendship and magic, add some sparkle.
If you followed our instructions carefully, you should end up with something like this:
*Results subject to change
Here you have it. Now you are free to experience the true joys of Thanksgiving. Throw away the unused scraps of paper (ignore their cries for mercy; they’re not good enough to cut.) Now, go eat some cake and give your grandma a hug – it’s not just her who will feel scared. scared by your new hat, she I wouldn’t know what caused this random affection.
And remember, if you get bored later, you can always make a Chocobo hat for your pet.
