Illustrated by Derek BaconVehicle and Driver
From the May 2022 issue of Vehicle and Driver.
New McIntosh MX950 Sound System Jeep Grand Cherokee will split your head in half. It has a 17-channel amplifier, 19 speakers and, as the name suggests, 950 watts. The bass will rattle out of your pocket. A strong trap can make your socks fall. If you told me you wanted to feel like you were in the recording studio with Steely Dan, I’d say be careful what you want, but McIntosh will get you there. You really wouldn’t want to change anything about it. That’s lucky, because you can’t.
Car stereos from my founding years – the 80’s and 90’s – are mostly standardized, with a DIN-size head unit that directly powers any flimsy speaker the manufacturer claims. specified supply. But both the head unit and the speakers are easy to replace, and once you’ve ripped the insides apart, you can also add an amplifier and a subwoofer. By high school, I was well versed in impedance and slope crosses and fuse blocks, and I could semi-professionally install my own tools, as did my friends. This freelance allowed us to add extra income from our summer jobs into increasingly ridiculous sound systems, until I believed that having two 12-inch subwoofers (as I did) in IROC) is the bare minimum to do justice to “Whoomp ! (There it is).” My friend Adam has a dual 15-inch speaker box that he once pulled out of his Subaru and used to DJ dance high school time. That’s where we set our standards: If your car stereo gets loud in the gym, it’s probably almost loud enough for your car.
I first foresaw the end of zany do-it-yourself car stereos in the early 2000s, when my best friend Dave was trying to put together a relatively limited system (just one amp and 10-inch sub) into his Saab 9-3. Even with a professional installation, the aftermarket chief disabled Saab’s security system, which somehow got networked into the factory stereo system. Dave could make Elton John’s “Little Dancer” or have a working keyless entry system, but apparently not both. March 9 heralds the impending demise of sound systems that high school students might enjoy.
But you know what without the infotainment system? The 2003 Ram regular taxi that I bought last year. Among its minor disadvantages was a dead stereo system, so I decided to resurrect my old skills and revive it with a semi-explosive system. Since aftermarket units often evoke the sublime aesthetic restraint of a Japanese pachinko shop, I purchased an OEM replacement from Chrysler (from the creatively named 1 Factory Radio company) discreetly with an auxiliary jack so you can plug it into your phone. Then I ordered a slim eight-inch powered subwoofer to hide under the saddle and embarked on a fun and rewarding project. Ah, that old familiar feeling of wishing you paid someone else to do this! I remember it very well. Speaking of which, did you know you have to remove the top seat belt anchor of the Ram to get in the rear speakers? Running the power-to-battery cable violates some sort of firewall grommet with a coat hanger. In the process, I ripped my hand over many invisible razor-sharp pieces of metal that Dodge put in just to frustrate the process and get you to trade your stupid truck get one with the Infinity sound system.
After fully using the MacGruber and tapping the converted hot wire to get the amp to wake up, I had a system that looked like it was old but worked hard. That’s great, except now I’m thinking about all the other stupid things I could do — control panel components, multiple amplifiers, sub-box behind the seat. Maybe I don’t know how to build a car stereo that sounds as good as the McIntosh MX950. But I bet I still know how to make that sound louder.
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