“What a wonderful day,” Jimmy Kimmel said at the beginning of Wednesday's late-night monologue before recounting the “chaotic morning” he had thanks to another well-meaning “Truth” aimed at his direction from the “former president Our Kentucky Fried Chicken” Donald Trump.
Noting that Wednesday was a day off from Trump's criminal trial, the host asked: “How did he use that money? Lunch with Melania? Are not. Maybe a catch with Barron in the field? No, no, Ranta Claus woke up early to post 165 cruel words about you.”
“Stupid Jimmy Kimmel, who still hasn't recovered from his terrible performance and plummeting ratings as Host of the Academy Awards, especially when he showed the World that he He had TDS, commonly known as TRUMP CONVERSION SYNDROME, let the whole World know by reading on air my TRUTH about how bad he was at work that night, right before he accidentally announced the biggest prize, 'Photo of the Year',” Trump posted, started confused Kimmel with actor Al Pacino.
“It was a CLASSIC LIFE, one of the biggest ever in entertainment, and to top it all off, he forgot to say the famous and obligatory line, 'AND THE WINNER IS .' Instead, he stammered as he opened the envelope,” the former president continued. They said: “Allegedly his wife and even his manager begged him not to do it, 'DON'T READ HIS TRUTH, JIMMY, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS'. He was made to look like a STUPID, which he was, while also going down in Television History as THE GREATEST ACADEMY AWARDS AWARDED!”
Kimmel said he was impressed that Trump spelled “vaunted” correctly, “but literally everything else is not only wrong but maybe-we-should-worry-about-him wrong, probably -we-should-get- The key is far away from the wrong grandpa.”
The host then fact-checked every line of Trump's posts, from the fact that Oscar ratings were actually up this year to the deep confusion over who presented the final award. end of the night.
“Don't get me wrong, I wish I was Al Pacino,” Kimmel said. “He's Al Pacino, I'm me. You'd think he knew that because I'm pretty sure, 'Say hello to my little friend' is what he said to Stormy Daniels that got him in all this trouble.”
Regarding Trump calling him the “WORST” Oscars host ever, Kimmel said, “That must be why they asked me to host again next year, which I didn't plan on do, but now I can. Maybe you can watch it on TV in the recreation room at Rikers.”
Finally, before playing a clip of a joke he told at the Oscars that must have still bothered Trump, Kimmel said, “I guess I should be honored that the former president of the United States took the time in her busy schedule to Google 'Ivanka in bikini' to rave about me. He must not understand how much I love this.”
Meanwhile, on CBS, Late show host Stephen Colbert comes to the defense of his ostensible competitor, admonishing Will Smith when he told Trump, “Don't you mention my friend Jimmy Kimmel's name in your weird, little, wet mouth.” me, okay?”
