Every couple has their own special way of celebrating Valentine’s Day. And if you’re Donald Trump, you do it in the loudest and most public way possible.
Jimmy Kimmel paid tribute to Cupid on Wednesday by sharing the Feb. 14 messages Joe Biden and Barack Obama sent to their respective wives. Obama, who Kimmel says “always gets things right,” posted a simple message to wife Michelle: “How did I get so lucky? Happy Valentine’s Day to my best friend.”
Biden, meanwhile, addressed his wife more directly in his Valentine’s Day greeting, posting a throwback photo and the message: “Jilly, you’re the love of my life and the life of my love.” While Kimmel agreed that the message was sweet, he also said it sounds like “the riddle a troll would force you to solve.”
Still, no one outdid Trump—who kicked off the holiday by first sharing that “BIDEN IS NOT TOO OLD, HE’S TOO INCOMPETENT” and being christened “St. Valencrime” by Kimmel. He then tried again a little later.
“The closest Trump got to a Valentine was an email he sent to his supporters,” Kimmel explained, noting that, “Even graphically, it looks like a ransom letter—which I guess is fitting given Melania’s current situation.”
Trump, ever the romantic, wrote:
“Dear Melania, I LOVE YOU! Even after every single INDICTMENT, ARREST, AND WITCH HUNT, you never left my side.”
Kimmel’s response: “I think that’s a line from The Notebook, isn’t it.”
Over on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert had some fun with the former president’s mass declaration of love—and was particularly amused by the email’s straightforward—and somewhat creepy—subject line: “I love you, Melania!”
Colbert also attempted to read through the (real) lines of the email, and took some creative liberties in his interpretation of it when he said it ended with: “Through thick and thin, no matter what deal the prosecutors offered you, you kept your trap shut. That’s what I call love.”
