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When my husband and I were newly married, we didn’t have much disposable income, but that didn’t matter because our favorite thing was spending time together (and still do!). Of course, life and kids happen and while that’s great, spending quality time alone makes it a little harder.
We’re working hard to find ways to spark spontaneity on the first date, and find fun, creative, and even unusual date ideas to try (and not just on Valentine’s Day or other dates). other special occasions!).
Experts say that weekly date nights help couples have more intimate and lasting relationships. I am fortunate to have a romantic and adventurous husband (he is Italian) who helps break the habit of “dining and watching” and trying new things.
Maybe one of these ideas sounds like something you want to try!
Date Nights: Then vs. Now
Kids before, when we wanted to date, we would just go. Usually it’s something free or very cheap because we’re on a tight budget, but even a walk in the park or a picnic is great.
As any parent with young children can appreciate, these days dating is a ten-step process:
- Decide to actually go on a date and have enough time to ask the other person if they want to go
- Call 3-5 people until you find a babysitter
- On this day, prepare food in advance for any meals you will lack at home so that the kids can eat well (I don’t do this anymore because I found this shortcut)
- If the day is night, it is also a good idea to bathe the baby first so that the babysitter doesn’t have to
- Remind your child to clean the room, do housework, etc
- Find something to wear… if you’re an avid person, maybe even makeup
- Make a list of all instructions and emergency contacts for your provider
- Finally go out the door to go on a date
- Almost fell asleep during dinner/watch movies/etc. because you have small children and are not used to staying up after 9:30 pm
- Came home to find all the kids still awake, and drove the babysitter home
Of course this doesn’t mean it’s not worth going out without the kids every now and then, but if staying on a date is more practical, the good news is that there are still ways to make it special ( and don’t do the old thing).
Day Cost: Then vs Now
The cost to date has also changed a lot over the years!
In the past, I had to pay $0-$25 to go out with my husband because we were going for a walk or hike, or to a free event at a local open-air theater. If we’re really splurging, we’ll go to bars for drinks, dinner, and movies.
Now a babysitter usually costs as little as $40+ for an evening, a hearty dinner is easily $50+, and if we go to the movies it costs $22,112 more for one Basic dinner and a movie can seem like a lot, especially since it can be difficult to find healthy food options when eating out and my husband likes to watch movies at home.
Fun Date Ideas (At Home or Out!)
We decided a long time ago that we would prioritize weekly date nights, but there are also many date nights that will take place at home after the kids have gone to bed (cheaper, easier, and less expensive). problem if we fall asleep before 10pm).
Over the years, I’ve developed a list of some of our favorite home date ideas. We find that even if we just spend uninterrupted time together after the kids go to bed but don’t intentionally use our phones or laptops, we have a good time. amazing and can rekindle some of our fun, quality and romantic times in our early years of dating and marriage.
1. Massage (My Favorite)
The whole bunch of kids in the 8s made me a huge fan of massages. Pregnancy, breastfeeding and now pregnancy is a great demand on the body and every mother can use a good massage. Unfortunately, a 60-minute massage can cost as little as $80 in most locations.
While there are some great massage devices to use at home (this is my favorite), a much more romantic way is to try a home massage course.
This Couples Melting Massage course is taught by a husband and wife team in a really easy to learn format. It’s a gift that keeps on giving, now we both really know how to get a good massage!
2. Sports (His Favorite)
You might think my husband would have to lie to me about this, but seeing a sporting event as a date night we both enjoy equally. We share favorite baseball and football teams and have weekly days to watch the games.
For big anniversaries or birthdays, I’ll try to find real tickets to a game so we can go together.
3. Chess
If you don’t have a chess board and set, you can pick up an inexpensive board and learn how to play together. It’s fun and great for your mind, and also a great game to teach your kids!
4. Light a Fire (Literally)
We build a fire pit in the backyard and some of our favorite home dates are sitting by the fire, sipping wine and just talking. Lights aren’t just for Christmas… hang a string or make these homemade tiki torches to create a romantic and cozy atmosphere in the backyard.
5. Document making date
We love watching documentaries together, and this often leads to a fun conversation about a controversial topic. Some great documentaries available on Netflix or Amazon to stream are:
- Jiro dreams of Sushi
- Bored
- Business of being born (my favorite, definitely not his)
- Man on Wire
- Microbirth (another one that I like)
- Free Solos
- Desire for change
There are literally hundreds to choose from depending on what kind of documentary you prefer.
6. Personality Quiz
Sitting on a chair tonight? Try one of these free personality tests you can take online, just for fun or to get to know each other:
7. Hiking
These things require babysitting or leaving the house unless you live cross-country, but spending time outdoors and disconnecting from technology is a great way to reconnect. Search for local parks and try a new place you haven’t explored yet!
8. Watch a new show
Not a groundbreaking day idea, but still relaxing and cheap! We don’t watch much TV, but over the years there have been a few movies that we really love and that give us regular date nights at home. We definitely pair this idea with a glass of our favorite wine.
9. Cooking together
Another activity that I might enjoy more than my husband, but cooking together can be so much fun, especially when trying out new recipes (I know you might find some…) or where to eat. Choose a recipe to make together. If you have time, choose a movie that corresponds to the dishes and enjoy dinner and a movie. Enjoy an Italian meal together and watch an Italian movie, or try your hand at sushi making and watch Jiro Dreams of Sushi.
10. Breakfast day
Dinner is the usual meal of the day, but there’s no need to skip the others! Breakfast is a healthier (and cheaper) meal to eat out. Head to a local diner or restaurant for an early morning date, and spend the rest of the day having a good time. It may also be easier for you to find a sitter on a Saturday morning or to let your kids play at a friend’s house.
11. Embark on an adventure
This is my husband’s favorite type of date, and it fits well with our decision to stick with experiences rather than material gifts. I enjoyed getting out of my comfort zone on some of our more adventurous dates. A memorable year we went scuba diving, but there are so many possibilities! Visit an indoor rock climbing gym, go kayaking (another one of ours), go go-karts, try ice skating (not my favorite!), or if you’re really up for it! make sure… go to a karaoke bar and sing your best!
12. Around the world at home
This is a recurring theme for us. Hanging out can be tough for the kids, so plan a fun date themed around ethnic food and enjoy it at home once the kids have gone to bed. Make your own sushi and eat on the floor. Make healthy Mexican food and watch a movie in Spanish. Make gravy and eat by candlelight. Whatever you choose, set the mood with music and decorations to make it fun! Even if you don’t go out for ethnic food, enjoy a late night date at home and cook for each other! This is also a budget-friendly way to keep the romance going.
13. Go camping
This is certainly not for everyone, but it often promises to be a bonding and truly wholesome experience for you. Always fun as a family, but if you can sneak away for a night, go camping as a couple. Alone time around the campfire gives you a real chance of catching up, and the potential for unforeseen circumstances (wildlife, rain, etc.) .
14. Volunteers
This is a great way to get closer as a couple. Once we tried it, I wish we would start right away as a newlywed. Focus on a goal you both believe in and volunteer together. This is also a great thing to do with kids. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, raise money for a cause, or pick up a service project at your church. It can make you grateful for what you have and will definitely be some quality time for your love one! Another advantage… spreading love costs nothing!
15. Visit a local attraction
We often forget the things that other people come to our town to see. Go see a play at the community theater or see the comedy club. Find a botanical garden or botanical garden and walk around. Hit the ball in the batting cage or play mini golf or even just browse the bookstore together and talk over a cup of coffee. If it’s in season, visit an orchard or farm of your own, or tour a local brewery or vineyard.
16. Exercise or Do an Activity Together
Exercise can be fun as a couple! Pick a new sport to learn: tennis, handball, basketball or swimming… just pick something you like. For an activity, go play miniature golf, paint pottery together, take dance or painting classes, go biking or canoeing. These are often the best times to talk, and you have the opportunity to develop a new hobby or skill.
17. Draw portraits of each other
Feeling a little funny looking into each other’s eyes? Painting a portrait is a perfect excuse! Reconnect in an unusual way by respawning or learning a new skill. I promise there will be lots of laughs! You just have to have fun with it, but I also recommend taking an online class from Udemy if you really want to learn some new skills.
18. Just Do Nothing!
Seriously… all parents know it’s harder than it sounds! When the kids are in bed (and many times threatened asked to go back to bed), choose to reduce stress by ignoring everything else that needs to be done. (Put electronics aside, hide them if you have to!)
Turn down the lights, light a few beeswax candles, put on some relaxing music, and just hang out. Talking, laughing, cuddling, discovering each other… just like the old days!
Most Important: Turning Day Ideas into Reality
Spending time together as a couple can be more challenging than usual, especially with kids. Make a decision to prioritize your relationship. Take the time to brainstorm new dating ideas and make them come true… no need to wait until a time like Valentine’s Day for an excuse to spend time together!
What was your best (or worst) day? Did you try any of the date ideas above?
