This Season of ‘Below Deck Mediterranean’ Is Painfully Bad

Season 7 premiere of Under the Mediterranean deckone of many series in Below the table A television universe that chronicles the trials and tribulations of a superyacht crew in the heat of charter season, whose guests are divas, including a primitive girl who calls her guests “sluts”. trash”, loves well-made steaks and has a secret aversion to cinnamon; a pair of deck decks trapped in the isolation zone; a drag program; one secret sailing between the head chef and the head hostess; and ended up on a cliff when the ship lost its stabilizer, sending bottles and pans flying and almost capsizing.

So… why does it report in such a damned way?

Now, the recipe for success Below the table The season is well established. The first thing you need is a dynamic manager – the real star of the show – who is confident, intimidating, possesses a sharp intelligence and will absolutely Not stupid. They act as guides for us through this strange world of luxury and privilege.

Kate Chastain, original Below the table The captain and right-hand man of Captain Lee, there was shade for the audience, winning the hearts of the audience with her well-meaning comments. Daisy Kelliher, master of Irish rituals on Sailing yacht under deck, can party with their best, and has no qualms about calling unscrupulous charter guests behind their backs (in her pleasant Irish accent, no less). And Hannah Ferrier, the online Aussie who served as the vault manager for the first five seasons of Under Deck Med and can melt the face of a deck of cards with a sentence of disdain”Honey, ” Made for television appeal—that is, until she was brutally removed by Captain Sandy (more on that later). But Natasha Webb, yacht executive Home in this season of Med, is a protector, soft spoken, a bit cold and completely unattractive. When “I really don’t like these guests” is the highest level of contempt your boss can muster, you know there’s a problem. This is not a class conflict.

Usually, one of the greatest sources of conspiracies on the Below the table was the growing tension between the vault leader and her team. Hannah’s “Lady, don’t touch me!” clash with the impossible Lara Flumiani in Season 5 of Med comes to mind, as does Chastain’s Guantanamo-esque torture of Caroline Bedol on board the ship. My Seanna, which miraculously went unpunished. There was no tension between the tunnel team in the first five episodes of Med. They appear perfectly synchronized and professional (boring!), perhaps due to the fact that the second stew, Natalya, is a near-exact copy of Natasha.

Then there’s the chef. The Below the table The franchise is famous for its magnetic, reactionary, relentlessly innovative food magicians who often find themselves locking horns with the main manager. Chef Ben Robinson is king in the field — an unruly Englishman whose joke with Chastain is A-list entertainment. You can hear two gunshots for hours, honey. Chef Dave White, on the other hand, is a man of few words – “The main guy doesn’t really care about lunch” – who quietly cries in his bed, and who has a tortured relationship with Natasha, all All staring, whimpering, and ignored/meaning text, is a watch of grief. They make Adam Glick and Jenna MacGillivray a terrible match in Season 1 of Sail yachts looks idyllic by comparison. Chef Dave is at least talented, unlike Down ‘by Ryan McKeown.

Let’s talk about the deck. Along with the chief stewman, who manages it in the interior, and the chef, the kitchen commander, the other main character on Below the table is bosun, a deck boss in charge of the exterior (or all equipment). The crew is usually a loud, horny bunch who work harder, party harder, and head-butt often — it’s a high-stress environment, after all! —But reeling from the bosun, who is in control of everything. They are also the eyes and ears of the captain — or, in the case of Eddie Lucas, the son they never had. It’s extra thrilling to watch old deckers graduate to become bosuns as the seasons go on (see Kelley and Nico), or watch female decks beat the odds and grow. thrive, like Connie and Izzy. Here Med Deck crew, however, is an unqualified disaster thanks to Raygan Tyler, a new addition and one of the more disappointing crew members ever to appear on the series.

Raygan, whose Northern accent is barely intelligible, is the second female bosun in the series’ history after Malia White, who, when she wasn’t flirting as a DEA agent, was does an admirable job with the greenest of the bunkers. Unlike Malia, a tireless worker, Raygan is quite lazy, always smoking cigarettes or lying in bed recovering from a night of heavy drinking (those dance moves almost caused me to have a seizure. ). Her management style is non-existent, leaving her poor decks running around like decapitated chickens. Damn, she doesn’t even seem to know how long a meter is. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew consists of two shy lifelong best friends and a brother from financial backgrounds with a bun man who was once knocked down by a Taco Bell . Who wants to see a drop of steam at the club? Not that they can, anyway, because Chef Dave’s sad boy antics break up every evening out.

And then there’s Captain Sandy.

I would be lying if I said I would forgive Captain Sandy for the way she treated Hannah in Season 5 of Med—Teach her through a vape pen and prescribe valium to treat her anxiety. After all you’ve been through It’s a How will you say goodbye? Not to mention, Sandy seemed to enjoy torturing Hannah, repeatedly threatening to fire her even though she had witnessed her panic attacks first-hand. Captain Sandy is the biggest micromanager of all Below the table captain and push her chefs up the wall with constant supervision of her dishes. If we believe that Captain Sandy has at least some control over her team recruiting, she has proven to be a terrible talent judges responsible for some of the worst crew members in the show’s history, including chef Mila Kolomeitseva, a despicable gay man who forged her résumé; Peter Hunziker, who was edited out of his season due to racist social media posts; Lara Flumiani, a font of incoordination; Lexi Wilson, a brat with authority who attacked the entire crew in a drunken rage; and… Raygan.

I don’t want to put all of However, blaming the cast. Shooting and editing has been a nightmare. How could the yacht that nearly capsized not feel the least thrill? Where are the pictures of the food being coated and plated? Why was a deck drag performance reduced to a cleverly edited 22-second clip? Except for one drone blink and you’ll miss it shooting over a cave, Malta has never looked like this

Please do whatever you can to bring back Captain Glenn and Sail yachts crew. After this boring season of MedWe yachtie fans are in dire need of someone to pick me up.